Grand Experiment

Steph's last post gave me an idea.

Let's make alcohol illegal and heroin legal for just one year, and see how things work out.

Upside: Fewer traffic deaths, less domestic violence and fistfights in general, massive weight loss on a national scale, less pain, more sleep.

Downside: Puking levels remain unchanged, more walking friends around for hours when they turn blue.

Velvet Underground Songs You Never Heard

"Aspirin, it's my life, and it's my wife!"

My sister pointed me to this article: How Aspirin Turned Hero which talks about Bayer's preferred product, Heroin. Since I've been particularly displeased with the efficacy of over-the-counter pain remedies in remedying my pain lately, it sure sounds tempting.

I think we now know why it was a "simpler time" back then... Oh, and hand me a lithium laden 7-up will you? Oh, and maybe a cocaine-cola. Thanks!

Nifty

CityPages, Twin Cities Babelogue

MINNESOTA BLOG OF THE DAY - May 21, 2004
Comedian Tim Mitchell provides smart commentary and dirty links at Graphic Acts.

Not Work Safe

See the post below this one, but just to be clear there are some things here (links, mostly) that are NOT WORK SAFE.

This website reflects the dual nature of Steph's and my personalities and careers. She is nice, I am not. And if you run across, say, a picture of a guy with a fire extinguisher up his butt, you've been warned.

(Actually, I think I e-mailed that photo to every "friend" who kept passing along lame jokes and fake virus alerts to me, but I don't think it's actually linked here. Sorry if that disappoints anyone.)

EXPOSED!

Okay, not really exposed, but sort of flashed since my co-workers suddenly found out how to find my site over lunch. Hey, welcome folks. I already sent ya the text. Sorry.

If you're nosing around looking for really juicy stuff, you won't find it here. Pretty much just dull Steph rants, the same kind of thing you can find out if you have lunch with me! I will warn you though, that this is a personal site, so really, you might find out a tad more than you bargained for, especially if you go to Tim's side.

For what it's worth, the link to scg in the post above has been removed, so in time, this connection will no longer show up. Thanks for your patience.

So I'm a geek

But I'm really excited about Segway tours provide sense of Minneapolis' past and I particularly like that the domain of the rental place is HumanOnAStick.com

It looks, however, like the tours are fairly expensive at $70/per person for a 2 hour tour. Still, it's probably the closest I'll ever get to a Segway.

The Grass Is Greener

Pertinent to Steph's last post, I just looked at our lawn and the rain is doing it a world of good.

This pisses me off. I've been out there hacking up the soil with a garden rake, mixing in richer soil, putting down patch and mulch in the bare spots, reseeding and fertilizing, and watering every day it didn't rain. Nothing.

Then Mr. Bigshot I-Can-Make-It-Rain God comes along and in two days flat the lawn is growing like, um, Astroturf? No, that doesn't work. Astroturf is the work of Satan.

Anyway, why can't God let me be better at just this ONE thing? what kind of stupid cosmic rivalry is this? You don't see me going around trying to create ostriches, do you?

Wet

Minneapolis has been pretty wet for the last couple of days and normally this would get me down. But it's the kind of weather where I can see the ground finally getting soaked and I now that the next semi-warm sunny day will make nature spring out of the ground. It's going to be gorgeous.

Watch out, pretty soon I'll be posting pictures of our grass again.

From the top...

Mr. Mitchell joins the seeing

Sources say that while Mr. Mitchell is somewhat taken aback by his new membership to the 4i's club, he does seem to be enjoying the resolution upgrade.

Graphics Upgrade

The downside: I'm now a four-eyed freak.

The upside: My wife's nipples are not actually blurry.

Removed from the top

Life imitates Art and Campbell's imitates Warhol
Special limited edition cans. Pittsburgh Gazette.

Farmer's Market

Technically, the Minneapolis Farmer's Market opened on April 24th, but this is the first day that I'll be visiting the Nicollet Mall version. Support your local farmers -- know what's in season and what's been shipped in. Buy from the stands that have all scallions one week and all leeks the next. Otherwise, you might as well go to Steve's Discount Foods.